Taking care of Nini Bayan

Okay.....I'm still in my "Living Zombie" state when suddenly my mom knocked the door and asked me to get ready to take care of Nini Bayan at the hospital. Well, she was about to be admitted~Thank goodness that my mind is still okay which brought me to give a 'YES' answer.

And...Oh God Mom, I am taking care of someone who is sick, not I'm doing some sort of vacation. Pleaseeee~

And....okay, go and call that person. I don't even care!!!!

Yup, aku tinggalkn rumah mlm atu dlm keadaan marah. Sasak bnrku~

Ejos, Uncle Yoyoi, Babu Yatong, Kiki & Munil were the companions while Auntie Yadal was on duty that night and Uncle Jini's family catch up not long after that. While the elders were dealing with Nini Bayan's admittance, the youngsters were 'memalui' at the waiting corner. Ok, congratulations to me for being so clever, hiding my 'true' feeling that night~

We have a chit chat first before sending Nini Bayan to her room. The kids went back home early because the next day they have to go to school.

Before the elders were leaving, they gave me lots of advice such as where to get the hot water in the kitchen, the toilet and all those stuffs. Yeap.....my first experience xD

Felt sorry to Nini Bayan. She kept on coughing and she even has a cold. And felt guilty too for waking her up just to take her tablet.

For those who have experience taking care of someone who is sick in the hospital, yup....you probably know about this. I DIDN'T SLEEP THAT NIGHT!!!!! No comfy bed, no thick blanket and felt quite annoyed with the nurse there for causing all those noise when I was about to fall asleep. And guess what?? They woke the patients up like 5.30AM for the check-up and I was like "Hey, I'm trying to sleep here". ARGHHHHHH!!!!!

Thank goodness Auntie Yanoi came early after sending her daughters to school. And that's it. After saying bye bye to Nini Bayan, HOME SWEET HOME. COLLAPSED STRAIGHT AWAY ON THE BED ^O^

Jay Park....I love you~

YEAHHHHH.....Finally, Jay Park has made his official account in Facebook. Hopefully, his Facebook is active as his Twitter~So that I don't have to make Twitter account again!

FYI, I am outdated with his news since Soumaya didn't contact with me for the past few months~*Sniff Sniff*

I am truly afraid

Today....Sept 18, around 1 in the morning, after I returned back home from my neighbour's house, a feeling of afraid seized me once again. I am truly afraid.....a confession that I want to make to everyone who knows me, take note on everything that happened to me for the last few weeks. I am afraid!!!!!

I think that I will not make it!!!!!!!

For the first time, I really felt lonely. No one to depend on. No one to share my worry to. It is not like my family ignored me at all or my friends just left me like that but.....

I kept on checking my email, since 8.??pm just now, every second and every minute, waiting for that damn fuck sheet of useless paper to appear in my inbox. The time right now shows 2.05am and yuppp.....NO APPEARANCE of that file which contains that paper. A useless paper which is the only way for me to proceed my whole journey. Yeah.....NONE.

I really want to cry~Seriously.....

No point for me to share it with my friends or my cousins about what I felt just now because.....Yup, they are not on my place. They may understand it or try to cheer me up or give me their full support but still.......useless.

Thousands of buildings collapse on me. Millions of bricks hit me and yeah, my world all of the sudden, turns upside down and.....sorry to say, I have no future at all after this.

WHY??? WHY???
What are my fault that I have to receive this kind of punishment?? I am third quarter of the journey and then, 'you' want me to end it up just like that?? After 'you' give that big amount of confidence, hope, courage and finally, steal it back from me in just one split moment.

My mom.....

Yeah...My mom.
I don't know where she get that crazy idea on the first place. It makes me suffered and in between the process, she kept on saying things like "You won't make it" or "It won't work" or "They won't approve you" etc.

I am fragile. I am still a kid. Every of her word and action really affects me. For the past 4 months, I tried to be tolerated with her, followed whatever she want me to do, encouraged myself, put bits by bits of my confidence even though I didn't like it and I didn't want to but still, in between the process, she still has that bad thought and she even say it in front of me. I never admitted to her but as a mom, I'm sure she knew that I have gradually built my hope on 'this' thing.

But still, why does she has to mention that kind of bad thought to me again?? Every of the words that is being said from a mother will automatically becomes a pray. And I think, her pray was granted by the God.

At the beginning, I never put any hope. Not even a slight hope. But, as the time goes by, I worked hard on everything and surprisingly, that hope keep on growing inside me. I can't get rid of it. It's so strong.....

Ughhhh.....A useless hope which in the end, eaten me up!!!!!

And the message......I sent the message around 9.??pm just now and guess what?? No reply!!!! Thanks~A fake hope from that person too. I really want to slap his face.
He should take a full responsibility for making me and my mom to keep that stupid hope. And for wasting my time, checking my email every second every hour!!!

What if I didn't make it??
I am not going to blame my mom for it because both of us are already trying our best so far. Even though she is the one who tortured me with 'this' stupid hope~

I know I am too buruk prasangka. I didn't know what will happen later or the day after.....I don't know~

If the result is still the same as today, okay.....I really wished that something bad will happen to me. I really want to end my life!!!!!

3.13am......My neighbour are still enjoying themselves, karaoke-ing.......while me...........alone in my room.....

Kenapalah aku inda kana bunuh saja???????

Once again....Fuck

I really want to kill people right now!!!!!

And I also want to blame someone.

Not the right solution. Obviously....

A living zombie

Yup.....I really looked like a living zombie. I didn't want to get out of the room, I didn't even wash myself, I didn't eat....I just lying on the bed.

I WAS TORTURED!!!!!!!!

Sakittttttttt..................

Aiyoo.....3 hari berturut-turut jln beraya, sakit pinggang + badan + ngaleh.....Nada harapan kn d-bawa konvoi neh~LOL

Selamat Hari Raya Greeting

A little bit shock and heart attack this morning but I still want to deliver my greeting.

Selamat hari raya to all muslim and non-muslim in Brunei as well as for all over the world. It's been a month since you performed your fasting and now, time for you to celebrate the raya~ ^_^ Just enjoy yourself with the kuih-muih.....

It is just like a common hari raya which I have experienced before. And quite stunned with what happened this morning~Well, I didn't expect for green sarong actually. I'm not in mood for raya this year~

Suasana Hari Raya - Anuar & Ellina

Lagu wajib ntuk hari raya. Nada lagu ane, meaningnya nada raya lah tuh~LOL ^o^

He acts infront of us.....

He tries to hide his sadness.....
He tries to show that he is alright....
He shows us his perfect, sweet, adorable smile....
He delivers his common, earache laugh.....
Not forgetting his lame jokes.....
He makes us laugh....
He divert our thought into something else in every split minute......

But deep inside......All of us knew.....

He hides everything!!!!!
Worry, fear, afraid, hurt, stress.......
His future, or should I say "their" future......which is definitely on the top of the list.....

We also, experience his fear too!!!!

Whatever happen, we are here for him
Only for him
Never leave him alone
We really love him
Before, now, after and forever
Stand beside him
Hold his shoulder firmly
Hold his hand tightly
Share his grief together
Assure him that everything is going to be alright

Leaving all the nasty thought away,
We,
As well as him,
Are hoping for a better outcome in the future.

Nothing is impossible!!!!

One word : We love him and this is what we are here for..........Just for him.

My New Baby ^_^

Thanks to my mom for granted my wish to raise this baby. Weight of around 2.3kg, pink in colour and goes by the name of Dell.

I promise to take a good care of you. Never let anyone to touch you and I am not going to download all those useless programs as last time~Promise!!!!!

Can't deny

He called me around noon, telling me that he was god damn worried about me. Ok...I can't deny that I was a little bit kambang when he told me. But I know, it is his job to ask me that but still, I can't insist the kambang's feeling from overflowing me~Naaa....Didn't hope for any improvement though~It is his job to ask me, remember?? Haha...I was actually reminding myself about the real fact.

\\(^_^)//

Thank you.....Ya Rabbi....Kabak2 bnrku ulehnya. Ahernya.....Nyaman jua sikit rsaku. Haha
Thank you God.....The "Fingers Crossed" thing really works. Now, it is up to tomorrow morning then. Opps.....correction. This morning!!! Later!!! Amin jua krng nada pa2 masalah.

Now, time for me to sleep. I need to recover back my energy~

Fingers Crossed

"If you are keeping your fingers crossed, you are hoping for a positive outcome."

Dear God....Please, I beg on you. This is my only hope. I have done third quarter of the whole journey. I don't want all the sleepless night, tears, fears, courage, energy, money, car fuels etc to be wasted. Please....I beg on you. Ya Allah......

I really really want to cry right now!!!!!

Happy Birthday To Lulu and Happy Advanced Birthday To Amal....

Yupppp.....That is our secret mission. It was quite successful, thanks to Huda and Maziah for buying the cake. Last minute plan.....

Happy 19th Birthday To Nur Aini Atiqah (5th September)
Happy 20th Birthday To Dk Amal Munirah (6th Septmeber)

Hopefully, both of you diberikan umur yg pnjng, diberikan rezeki yg melimpah ruah, be successful in your studies, be brave, be strong, stay pretty, don't forget your smiles even in your stressful moment, hopefully persahabatan kita berkekalan sehingga ke akhir hayat and lastly, I love both of you.

Quite weird when thinking of my role to both of them. I or should I say, WE, always turn to Amal for her brilliant advice but in front of Lulu, I act as her big sister. Anyway, for sure I'm going to miss Amal's counseling and Lulu's complain after this.

Sungkai.....Amal's Treat

Amal's treat followed by sungkai.....Aku yg inda puasa pun kajar2 nunggu sungkai. LOL

Venue : Gerai Jerudong.
Note : Bukannya gerai mama Amal aA.....

Weather : Rain heavily. Sapoil......

Special thanks to Amal (For her treat), Sharleena and Siti (For their minyak kerita) and Yun (For being our photographers)

Amal's treat was clashed with Kaka Nono's engagement and at first, I almost turned down her invitation but thinking of maybe this will be the last time I met her this year (Hopefully NO), I tried my best to become a peminta sedekah (Kiasan saja bah tuh....) and I finally made it.

Melantiew with Asmaa sekajap. Miss her so muchhhhh....

After done with the sungkai and complete with the secret mission, we went to Nazirah's Guesthouse. Finally, aku tau d-mna Zirah tinggal slama ane~Hehe.....It's cool you know. 3 tingkat yow rumah atu~


These are some of the photos at Nazirah. Some are at Amal. Hmmm....Wondering how can we get the photos from her??? o_0
Okay....It looks like as if the sungkai was done at Nazirah. LOL

Done with the sungkai, special thanks again to Sharleena for her ice lemon tea, dodol and cadbury.

Thanks to Amal once again for her maruku. Ada jua ntuk ku mengunyah....

Majlis Pertunangan Kaka Nono & Radis

*Take Note That The Photos Below Were All Courtesy From Vivi*
Sorry Bep, I stole your photos without permission. I did bring the camera but looking at their camera on that day, okay....saya mikum~

♫♫♫ Renjis Renjis Dipilis, Ditepungilah Tawar....... ♫♫♫
Ehhh.....Alum lagikh??? Aiyooooo O_0

The ladies (Aisehhhh...) who were present were all beautiful. Love their dress and make-up. Awwwww.......Including Kaka Nono too. Felt pity because she was quite unwell during her big day~


Happy Belated Birthday to Kaka Nono too. And the lovely Eyan. Well, I'm not sure when is Eyan's birthday though, LOL!!!! Correction : LUPA. Hehe......Eyan was so iski to cut her cake. Even kakanya punya kek pun ea ikut memutung jua. Cute~

To Vivi, sorry because I didn't wear the baju on that day~

Yeah.....I'm Stong Baby *SeungRi's Song*

Eyupppp....I'm strong baby.....Eu Kyang Kyang ^0^

It's been...*Hitung pkai jari* 4 days and yuppp.....No Fever Was Recorded!!! Wuahwuawuahhh.......

Only a little pain on my shoulder *Sniff Sniff*
But still, I'm strong baby ^0^

Later, I will throw away the paracetamol into the rubbish bin.

Oh, by looking at the photo, hehe....I was about to fall asleep.

Curly hair??? No No No!!!!!!!

Photos of ChangMin at Incheon Airport before going to LA for SM TOWN Live Concert. God.....Really miss him so much~

Hmmmm.....By looking at these photos, I love his smile but really hate his curly hair!!!! It ruined his appearance for goodness sake!!!! ADA KU MISIN NANTI PKAI MISIN RUMPUT!!!!!

Leader YunHo!!!!!!!
I miss him too!!!! (;_;)

Love this photo *_^

With BoA Sunbae in the airplane.....Yay.....Love your friendship guys ^_^

Hutang Langsai

Yupppp.....
No more debt.....
Quite glad with the response......
Quite relieve for the understanding....
Most important is....I can breathe calmly now......

Another postponed???

Another postponed?? Thank you so much!!!!! Fuck!!!!!! Whateverrrrrr!!!!!

Vampire Suck

A DVD courtesy of Kiki, Didi and Miki. We watched it together with Tiara and Loren. Atupun kepayah-payahan kana panggil turun ke bawah mkn rambutan~

One word to describe this movie : MENGAMAHHHHHHHH
But this movie is also funny~LOL....
A bit confusing since they combined Twilight and New Moon together. And the ending....We were like....Abis tia tuh???? Mengamah jua bnr.....

Liau body's recovered

Marine police, fire and rescue personnel and medical staff bring the body of deceased Haji Rais Banih, wrapped in a green bag, to the shore at Jerudong beach as family members and close friends look on. His body was found last night four days after he was found missing.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

The body of famous veteran actor Hj Rais Banih (pic), fondly known as Liau Badar, was found at Jerudong beach last night after a four-day search.

His body was discovered by family members at 6.20pm, trapped between coastal rocks on a strip of beach behind the Jerudong Polo and Country Club golf course, about three kilometres from Jerudong Beach.

The 74-year-old was reported missing Sunday morning after his capsized boat was found floating near Jerudong Beach. The actor was a keen angler who fished there regularly.

Hundreds of fans, friends and family members of the beloved actor converged on the shores of the beach where his body was found, reading doa selamat and waiting for the body to be brought down from the rocks.

Officials from the Fire and Rescue Department, assisted by the Marine Police and relatives of the deceased, retrieved the body from the rocks at about 9pm, but it took them a further 40 minutes to transport the body to the shore and place it in the ambulance due to the hundreds of people crowding the beach.

Twenty security guards from the Jerudong Polo and Country Club assisted police in keeping the crowd at bay as they clamoured to catch a glimpse of the body. The deceased was immediately taken to Raja Isteri Pengiran Anak Saleha (Ripas) Hospital for a post-mortem examination to determine the cause of death.

According to eyewitnesses among the recovery team, Hj Rais's body was already in the advanced stages of decomposition, further delaying the retrieval due to the delicate state of the body.

Since the day of the accident, the deceased's family have been holding vigil at Jerudong beach, searching for the actor with various government agencies headed by the Fire and Rescue Department.

Hj Rais's wife, who had stayed at the beach for three days straight, was hospitalised on Tuesday after collapsing due to emotional distress.

Immediate family members were also outraged with false rumours circulating among the Bruneian community for the past few days, regarding the discovery of Hj Rais's body, when the search was still ongoing.

Several relatives of the deceased said the rumours caused further distress to their family as well as causing complications in the search carried out by the Fire and Rescue Department.

Razalee Hj Rais, the son of the veteran comedian, said that since retiring, his father frequently went out to sea by himself.

"He would leave (the house to go out to sea) as early as Subuh (dawn) prayers were finished, and would normally return by 10am," he told The Brunei Times.

Razalee said he began to worry as the day stretched past 10am and his father did not return from his fishing trip.

Friends of Hj Rais were believed to have made a distress call at 1.18pm on Sunday afternoon after his boat was found floating astray at about 10.45am that morning.

The funeral for Hj Rais will be held today at 9am in Kg Parit, Limau Manis. Hj Rais is survived by his wife and son.

The Brunei Times

....................................................................................................................................

Can't believe that he will leave in that way. I'm not really updated with Bruneian dramas nowadays but as far as I know, he was healthy and still active. I always watched his dramas masa damit2. His evil role that he took was as a stepfather of DJ Zura who is kaki judi. Apart from that, beliau slalu membawa watak yg mcm bapa2 or atuk2. Watak yg bnyk memberi nasihat lah yg pastinya~

Throughout his missing, I keep on following the updates of his search via Brunei FM. I even added Zamri just to know about his searching. But then, Allah lebih syngkn beliau. Nda sangka cmatu gayanya ea meninggalkn dunia ane.....

Banartah nya urng, ajal maut d-tngan Tuhan. Bila2 masa saja kita kana panggil.

Bukannya kn melawan takdir lah, p mcm ada rasa terkilan sedikit dgn cara beliau kana "panggil" atu~

Even though I am not a big fans of him, apatah lgi drama Brunei but I do feel his loss. I'm sure the Bruneian will keep on remembering him, missing his acting to be exact. Bak kata peribahasa, gajah mati meninggalkan gading, harimau mati meninggalkan belang, manusia mati meninggalkan nama.

Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat. Amin.....

Allahyarham Hj Rais Banih @ Liau Badar
The Living Legend

Sheila Majid - Lagenda

Finally arrived....

The one I have been waiting for has finally arrived this evening. Along with the pressure too......
Another option for me....

The question is. Am I ready for it??
NO.....Absolutely NO......

I can't deny the fear, all of the sudden, attacked me. Ya Allah, mcm mna kn neh???

8mm

My mantoux measurement. More like a love bite...Hehe I think I can beat Tiara with her "jam tangan" LOL~~~ So far, no itchy...

Another experience

The effect after my blood is extracted. See the green area?? Hijau-menghijau yow~

Oh, this is my right hand!!

This is my left hand. Apparently, my blood is flowing fast on my left hand when compare to my right hand.
But I think it is correct since arteries are functioning in transporting blood to all parts of the body. Therefore, the heart needs to pump the blood continuously. Please correct my biological knowledge~
Yeahh.....I know....general knowledge. But I tend to forget about it. Ohhhh....somehow I miss Teacher Shanty~^_^

I also received a shot for my H1N1. I tried to avoid that injection all this while but by looking at my current situation, I can't oppose it. I did feel a slight pain on my right shoulder though. Mcm menusuk ke tulang pun ada jua rsanya~

Mantoux test, blood test, H1N1 shot.....Somehow I felt like I am same kind of animal.
Do I sound insulting?? Sorry~